Saturday, March 24, 2012

Sunday, March 24th, 1974

I did IT again today in hopes that I won't do it tomorrow while I'm off school.

Worked on my school notebooks today and made a couple of folders for myself, also.

I've decided that I'll probably go back up to Horn's tomorrow morning.

NOTES: Horn's was the junk shop Terry and I had discovered a few years earlier that had some excellent old comics for only a nickel. Picked up quite a few key Silver Age books there in the early seventies and even a few fifties titles! The place was always a mess, much like Fred Sanford's junkyard on TV.  But week after week, it seemed like they had new boxes of old comics! After a few years, as word got out that comics were collectible, they quit getting the good stuff in. 


I also bought an entire set of James Bond paperbacks there for a dime each, Harvey Kurtzman's HELP paperbacks and quite a few other gems! Even MYRA BRECKINRIDGE with that great Raquel cover. Even though I didn't see the picture until 1980 and the coming of home video, I had the book and even the movie poster, as seen here.

Friday, March 23, 2012

****EXTRA**** The Official Barf Book

We interrupt 1974 to bring you a recent project of mine from 2012!

April Fool's day is fast approaching. If you're one of those who purchases gag gifts for April Fool's Day, might I suggest THE OFFICIAL BARF BOOK. Quite frankly, it was all I could do not to gag just going though it...and I WROTE IT!

Well, not exactly. THE OFFICIAL BARF BOOK is Craig Yoe's follow-up to his astonishingly successful OFFICIAL FART BOOK of a couple years back. This time, Craig recruited a bunch of folks to help put it together. I'm credited in a dozen chapters and contributed to a couple more. Also involved were my lovely wife Rene, longtime Net friend   Lisa Mynx, former DC writer/editor Jack C. Harris, illustrators Vince Musacchia and Greg Oakes, fellow I.T.C.H. member David B. and a host of others.

Greg Oakes did the art for my biggest contribution, ROCK AND ROLL HEAVIN', an irreverent section on rock stars who...well...choked to death on vomit. See below for a sample.

From the publisher:

A clever, insightful, and GROSS compendium of everything from sayings about barf- historical anecdotes, and cartoons to rancid rhymes, factoids, great moments in barf culture, up-chuckles, and buckets more! Whether you’re spewing to Ralph on the porcelain telephone or waiting for relief from a stomach tsunami, this book makes for an awesome gag gift. Random Moments: Vomit walks into the bar, crying. The bartender asks, “What’s the matter?” Vomit says, “Sorry to be so sentimental, but this is where I was brought up.” A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?" Barf Trivia: There’s no such thing as Rat Puke! Rats can’t vomit.

All in all, THE OFFICIAL BARF BOOK is a surprisingly educational book filled with historical tidbits and trivia, but also with enough gross limericks, cartoons and illustrations to turn even the strongest stomachs. I dare you to try reading it without at least coming close to adding your own chapter. "Urp!"



Did I mention it comes with free plastic throw-up attached to the cover? Talk about a major selling point! Oh and if you think THIS one was bad, wait until you see what next year's follow-up is going to be!


Here, however, we see the opening pages of several sections in this disgusting--but hilarious and educational!-- book that were written by yours truly.

Some marvelous illustrations in the rock section, all by Greg Oakes, with whom I have since become friends online!


This section below was probably the hardest to write as I had to watch a  LOT of applicable scenes from various films to determine the most...the best...the...well...Yuck!


I wrote a number of limericks used elsewhere in the book but the two below were actually contributions from Lisa Mynx.


THE OFFICIAL BARF BOOK really is the perfect April Fool's Day gift. And it's cheap, too! Still time to get it by April 1st if you order today! See the Amazon Link below.


Saturday, March 23rd, 1974

I saw ZARDOZ! A very complex sci-fi film with an interesting twist. Also a very exciting film! It contained an abundance of action, adventure, fantasy, sex, good acting and even some violence. All in all, I'd say it'll definitely make my Top 10 for this year...assuming I eventually see at least 10 pictures.

Also, THE EXORCIST is definitely coming to the Madison finally! I hope more than I've hoped for most films that I'll get to see that one.

Got some good books downtown today and we had snow! Lots of it! On the third day of Spring!

NOTES: ZARDOZ hasn't really aged well. I don't recall how it was received at the time other than a major cover feature in CINEFANTASTIQUE  magazine which, if I remember correctly, agreed with my opinion. Basically you have  (SPOILER) a balding, ponytailed  rapist caveman Connery in a big red diaper with a gun, worshipping a giant floating rock head based on THE WIZARD OF OZ. WIZARD OF OZ, get it? Ooooo, how clever.


Actress Charlotte Rampling appears topless and maybe altogether nude in ZARDOZ but even then I found her to be supremely unattractive so that wasn't even a major highlight for me. 


Seeing THE EXORCIST was a major goal that year. I had yet to realize that when one wants something THAT much, it will never live up to your expectations.


If you're a fan of the TV-related posts we do here, please be sure to check out my newest blog, THE BOOKSTEVE CHANNEL, which offers personal reminiscences of many TV shows I've enjoyed over the years.
http://bookstevechannel.blogspot.com/

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Friday, March 22nd, 1974

Not much chance of seeing ZARDOZ after all it looks like unless Terry's mother agrees to take us tomorrow night.

Speaking of Terry, he told me there are a lot of new mags and such out over the river, today.

No school Monday!

NOTES: Being underage, we often had to depend on convincing one or the other family member to take us to R rated movies. In the case of Terry's mom, she would often pay to go in with us, then leave if she had no personal interest in the picture we were seeing. 


ZARDOZ was perhaps the biggest step yet in Sean Connery convincing folks he was no longer James Bond, 007. More about it tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Thursday, March 21st, 1974

Spring is here! And it began on a bad note starting when I self-urinated in bed this morning for the first time since I was a little kid. Yuck!

At school it was oh so bad, too. And the weather was all rainy, snowy and cold.

The big surprise was when I received the twelve British DRACULA magazines I had ordered back before Christmas. The thing is, when I complained before, they ended up sending me something else for my money so these were basically free. I felt like I should send them back or something but everyone said that the postal laws say if you didn't ask for them, they're considered a gift. Even though I know they weren't meant as a gift, I guess I will keep them since even dad says so and he does work for the Post Office. Bet I dream about it tonight, though.

NOTES: This was the UK edition of the Spanish DRACULA magazine, later partially reprinted in book form by Warren in the US. I had ordered it back in December. They sent me something saying the mags were no longer available and a list of other items I could have. I picked something, I forget what, and they sent it. I was disappointed not to get what I had originally ordered but I was satisfied the deal was completed. Then they showed up. No note. Nothing. 


Everyone was correct in that if you receive an unsolicited order in the mail, technically it's yours. Clearly, however, this had just been a mix-up so I was torn. Dad said to keep them and he worked for the Post Office...but as a janitor! What did he know? Still, I did keep them. Finally sold them just a couple of years ago after getting scans of them first. 


As far as wetting the bed, it was a problem I had had only occasionally as a child. Never a major issue as for some kids. Hadn't happened in years though. In retrospect, I'm wondering if this might instead have been a wet dream. 

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Wednesday, March 20th, 1974

Another bad day. I was right. The kung-fu flick was cut off.

A terrible day at school and then tonight they called Dad to say he didn't get the garage he was wanting for the car.

Almost did IT again.

Mr. Deters called tonight to say we DID get the SS cleaning job while the regular guy's on vacation.

NOTES: Unbeknownst to me apparently, this would have been the start of my first job. The Social Security Office was literally in our back yard as you can see in this shot of our back porch. It was owned by the same man who owned our building. We ended up eventually taking over the cleaning on a regular basis. All of us helped, with Dad doing the mopping and bathroom cleaning, Mom emptying and cleaning the ashtrays and me emptying all the trash cans and doing general straightening (as well as changing lightbulbs as needed...which was several times weekly). In time, after my Dad's accident, I would take it over completely. I hung onto the position even after the Social Security Office became the Cincinnati Post newspaper office, finally leaving about a year into my daytime job at the bookstore in 1983. 


We were never paid much. the work could sometimes be grueling and the employees never seemed happy with us...but an empty office to which I had a key proved a good place to take girls in the middle of the night a few years later. ;P

Monday, March 19, 2012

Tuesday, March 19th, 1974

Saw some great TV today! Ray Bradbury, my favorite writer, and Jerry Stein, my favorite movie critic, were both on Channel 48. Later in the night, I saw Vincent and Roddy, two of my favorite actors and then Jimmy Dean, my favorite sausage salesman!

Bad luck of the day--Because WKRC is airing the MotW tonight, they may not show tomorrow's which is the martial arts one.

NOTES: Not sure now what the deal was about them nit showing both Movies of the Week.


Vincent Price and Roddy McDowall, naturally. Jerry Stein was the local movie critic. No idea why I found Jimmy Dean to be so entertaining this evening. He had always seemed a personable sort. My parents and I had enjoyed his early sixties TV series with muppet Rowlf and I had always liked his BIG BAD JOHN record even though I hate most story songs. I even enjoyed him as the Howard Hughes-type reclusive millionaire in the 007 picture, DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. Apparently Jimmy made a fortune on his sausages, though, and whole future generations would know the name exclusively from that. 





Sunday, March 18, 2012

Monday, March 18th, 1974

I taped THE MAGICIAN theme, my favorite TV theme at the moment.

At school, I got an article on comics.

Tonight, I decided to make something out of my old DARK SHADOWS scrapbook.

Three movies I want to go see this week. One--Sean Connery in ZARDOZ--is coming to the Madison. Maybe my movie luck is changing. I hope so!

NOTES: THE MAGICIAN was a short-lived series starring TV favorite Bill Bixby as a stage magician whose hobby was solving murder mysteries using his illusions. It really was a great theme song, on trumpet as I recall. It was the first of many I decided to record on a tape of TV theme songs which I still have! 


Oddly enough, here we are 38 years later and we're once again talking about DARK SHADOWS with Tim Burton's upcoming mockery of the beloved original vampire soap opera.


ZARDOZ was one freaky movie. More about it when I see it.