Friday, January 6, 2012

Sunday, January 6th, 1974

No movie again today! I was so bored that I just sat around watching TV and reading all day.

Today, that feeling hit me again--that feeling of a need just to feel real affection. I hope something happens soon.

NOTES: The desire for affection that I felt so strongly here surprises me. Oddly enough, I am not an incredibly affectionate person. Never have been. Eventually  I learned to hug but overall someone touching me makes me extremely self-conscious and as far as touching someone else, I always feel even now that I'm running the risk of offending them or violating a boundary. It doesn't help that I had one friend throughout most of the past decade who jerked away and acted as though I had turned into a monster if I so much as accidentally brushed up against her while we were walking together. 


I wanted a girlfriend...more than anything in the world, I wanted a girlfriend...but even then, it seems like I was leery of the basic concept for fear of "why would anyone ever want to show affection to me?" In my mind, I saw myself as the brainy fat kid with glasses, acne and prematurely greying hair. Why would anyone want to show affection to me? Sigh...

2 comments:

Raj said...

A couple shows in my binge-a-thon aired this night:

- McMillan and Wife (has a charm that at times captivates me, other times my mind wanders and I have to screen back for important plot-points. I do enjoy John Schuck as the oafish and lovable Sgt Enright) "Man Without a Face" with Steve Forrest, first 2 hr episode...

-Barnaby Jones (almost wasn't gonna watch this, turns out it's a loose spin-off of Cannon. No regrets, Buddy Ebsen holds his own here!) "Venus as in Fly Trap" with Jessica Walters and Ed Nelson.

** I've been caught with most NBC Mystery Movie shows so far, of course the big three Columbo, McCloud, and McM&W, also Banacek, Hec Ramsey, the brief runs of Madigan and A Cool Million, and just picked up The Snoop Sisters. Unfortunately haven't found access of the 2 recent 73-74 additions Tenafly and Faraday and Co.

Booksteve said...

Been looking for FARADAY & CO., Tony Curtis's McCOY, and especially TENAFLY for years. Have only ever found the opening of the first episode of the latter. I did get to exchange some emails with star James McEachin maybe a dozen years back but we spoke mainly about his involvement in the Korean War.

Oh, and I hear you about McMILLAN. I know exactly what you mean. I love it but sometimes my mind wanders. McCLOUD remains my all-time favorite of the '70s cop/detective shows. I have a complete bootleg set of episodes.